Showing v telling feelings...
When you ‘show’ your character’s emotions, you engage the reader and get them involved in the story. But what does that even mean? In this post, I will explain how using action, dialogue and strong verbs to ‘show’ rather than ‘tell’ your character’s feelings increases the impact on your reader and makes him/her more involved in your story..
the difference between showing and telling...
Understanding the difference between ‘showing’ and ‘telling’ can be tricky. When it comes to showing v. telling emotions:
- when you are ‘telling’, you are telling the reader exactly what the characters are feeling.
- if you ‘show’, the reader has to read between the lines to decide for themselves how the characters are feeling.
why is it better to show?
It sounds like ‘telling’ is easier for the reader because they don’t have to guess what the character is feeling.
But as humans, we are constantly watching people to understand how they are feeling. It’s something we do instinctively.
The more involved the reader is, and the more they have to work things out for themselves, the more they take an active part in the story. Then the reader engages with the characters who begin to feel real so they want to read on to find out what happens next.
an example of telling...
Alexa was so angry. She hated her rude little brother. He was just beastly, always pointing out her weight and making her feel bad. She couldn’t take it anymore.
“Don’t you ever call me a fat pig again. You’re just a skinny rat!”
an example of showing...
Alexa narrowed her eyes at Lenny.
But he would not stop. “You’re so fat I’m surprised you even fit though the door!”
Alexa leapt off her stool and hurled herself across the room, her jaw locked in a grimace.
“How dare you?” She towered over him.
Lenny’s grin faded. He shrank back against the wall. “I… I…”
“You little…” Alexa grabbed his shoulders, yankng him off his feet.
He opened his mouth to yell for Mum. Alexa was having none of it.
“Don’t you even think about it.” She pushed her face so close their noses touched. “Nothing can save you now.”
which example works best for you?
The first example uses lots of emotion words and descriptors – angry; hated; rude; beastly; bad etc.
In the second example, the emotion is demonstrated through action and dialogue. I’ve tried to use strong verbs (‘narrowed’, ‘leapt’, ‘hurled’, ‘locked’ etc instead of ‘was’ and ‘are’.)
We still come away with the same idea of the emotions felt by each of the kids but in the second example, the emotions themselves are never named.
emotion showing I have found in recent books I've read...
In The Polar Bear Explorers’ Club by Alex Bell:
“Stella, why on earth are your clothes all wet?’ Felix asked from below.
Stella winced and peered over the side of the bunk. She’d been so keen to change into her pyjamas last night that she’d just left her wet clothes in a pile by the bed.
(So, Stella ‘winced’. Does that give you an idea of how she’s feeling? She’s been caught out. Felix told her to stay inside the night before.She’s going to get a telling off!)
In Harry Potter and The Philosopher’s Stone (J.K. Rowling):
‘Dudley, meanwhile, was counting his presents. His face fell…’ a bit later on he is ‘going red in the face.’
(We don’t need to be told that Harry’s cousin getting cross and upset).
And here is Sophie about to be snatched by the BFG (Roald Dahl):
‘For the second time that night her blood froze to ice and she wanted to scream, but no sound came out.’
(Oh dear, she’s a bit scared!)
so it's over to you...
Next time you are reading a book, see if you can spot when the author tells you the emotions of the characters and when she shows how they feel.
Which do you think is best?
And next time you are writing an emotionally charged scene, can you do it without naming the emotions? Can you use ACTION, DIALOGUE and STRONG VERBS instead?
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