In Speechless, Harriet doesn’t speak. This creates a significant barrier to communication. Have you ever wanted to talk to someone who finds it hard to say anything back? In this post, I look at the things you might do to make communication easier. What would you like to say to Harriet if you had the chance?
there are many times you might come across someone who you can’t communicate with...
- Someone who comes from another country may not speak much or any English.
- An older person may be struggling with dementia or Alzheimer’s.
- Someone may have had a stroke which has affected their ability to talk.
- A very young child or a baby may have a limited vocabulary or may be a little shy to talk to you.
- Up to 20% of children in the UK may have some form of special needs or require particular adjustments so they can participate in activities and engage with others. Special needs can be very mild and barely noticeable or profound so that it is easy to tell that they are atypical. There is a huge range in between.
- Some people may be deaf or partially deaf, meaning they struggle with hearing everyday sounds and conversations. This means they may not respond to you because they have to read your lips. It is worth always making eye contact with anyone when you speak, not only does this show them respect but ensures that they can engage with you comfortably.
- 1 in 400 people in the UK have Cerebral Palsy like Harriet. There are a number of different ways in which Cerebral Palsy can affect people. (See my page on Cerebral Palsy for more information.)
When you meet someone who you can’t talk to, you need to take the time to learn about basic human connection and communication.
try this at home…
Spend one hour where you are not allowed to talk to another member of your family! Perhaps try to play a game with them, make dinner together or learn a new skill from them.
How will you communicate? What techniques do you come up with? Write down all the things you do and compare them with my list below.
without language, other ways of communicating become even more important.
These can include…
- Body language
- Tone of voice
- Facial expressions
- Gesture
Did you know?
Even very young babies understand these non-verbal methods of communication.
In fact, they may understand many more words than we realise.
Babies cannot physically speak until their throats and voice boxes have sufficiently developed. This process can be ready any time from around 8 months but often isn’t fully organised and developed until later, up to 18 months of age (sometimes even longer than that).
This gap between understanding and the physical ability to speak is why it is so exciting to teach them baby sign language which is sometimes known as Makaton.
i’ll tell you a true story…
My daughter, Katie was born with Cerebral Palsy. She didn’t say her first word until she was nearly five years old.
BUT she had been SIGNING from the age of 6 months.
By the time she was a year old, she could sign ‘cuddle’, ‘drink’, ‘doll’, ‘teddy’, ‘biscuit’, ‘milk’, ‘dinner’, ‘please’, ‘thank you’, ‘cat’, ‘pig’, ‘duck’ and many more words!
This taught me that although she virtually never made any noise at all (yes, I know, very unusual for a baby!), she knew what she wanted and that, at heart, she was a communicator.
I’m telling you this true story because you can’t ever look at someone and make assumptions about what they understand or how they can communicate with you.
what should you assume?
I always feel that your basic assumption should be that people do understand.
- They may understand every single word that you say (even though their body may never allow them to tell you that).
- Or they may only understand things like gestures, tone of voice and facial expressions.
my best advice…
- Speak as if they understand every word you say to them (someone is likely to tell you if you need to repeat something or they cannot understand).
- Be patient – their speech may be slower than yours but that does not mean what they are saying to you is less important.
- Don’t be offended if someone asks you to repeat a sentence as they may struggle to understand too many words at once, meaning they need more time to understand what you are saying.
- Above all, make sure you make eye contact with them and your body language, tone of voice and facial expressions are open and friendly.
- GIVE THEM A SMILE! It costs nothing and you might be the only person that day or even that week that has tried to be friendly.
I hope you have found this interesting and useful and have fun trying to play games or bake without any talking!!
Find out more about Cerebral Palsy here, and other resources here and find out about me and my book.